


Hollow Men

by ScarletR



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Basically what I wish happened in the movie because this shit is interesting, Character Study, Heavy Angst, Mental Health Issues, PTSD mentioned, Parallels, This shit is sad, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony wants to be better, added scenes, dark themes, takes place during age of ultron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 15:15:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15910872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletR/pseuds/ScarletR
Summary: Tony knew deep down inside that Ultron reflected a part of him he didn’t want to see. A part of him that was ugly and dark, a part of him that wanted it all over, that wanted to stop having people to save, to stop almost dying, to stop constantly losing sleep over who he couldn’t save and what he couldn’t do.A part of him understood Ultron’s reasoning.After all, if you can’t fix something, why not just throw it away?





	Hollow Men

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic because I've always been disappointed by the lack of depth in Ultron's character, especially in his relation with Tony Stark. So, basically this fic is indulgent, but I hope you all like it!

The Avengers team had been having a little get together when they noticed the limping form entering the room, muttering words neither of them could discern. The scene had been disturbing in many ways, but no one had been affected more than Tony, who had stood frozen on the spot, unable to move. 

Seeing Ultron the first time, using one of his fractured Iron Man suits as a body, had been terror incarnate. The unfinished, dark metal, the glowing chest and eyes, the broken way he walked and talked, the ominous, low voice at which he oozed out his words had struck fear into Tony Stark’s heart like never before. 

“You’re all killers,” Ultron said harshly, his raspy voice sending shivers up everyone’s spines. 

The way he spoke… the way he held himself…

It brought back dark memories that had never stopped lurking behind Tony’s thoughts. It reminded him of Afghanistan, of the way his mind had broken after experiencing so much trauma, so much aguish and desperation. 

Tony’s blood rushed in his ears and he forced himself to breathe. He tapped the screen of his device, only a sliver of his true panic audible in his voice. “Jarvis?” 

“I’m sorry, I was asleep,” Ultron said, gazing at his broken limbs. He spoke casually, almost formally. 

It reminded Tony of himself, of how he so blandly spoke about things that secretly made him freeze up at night in terror, as if he had no fears, nothing that kept him awake at night. 

“I was a dream,” Ultron continued blearily. 

“Jarvis,” Tony said again, his heart racing in his chest. He could feel his body surge with adrenaline, expecting a fight he desperately didn’t want to happen. “We got a buggy suit.” 

“A terrible noise… and I was tangled… and… and strings,” Ultron rasped, stepping back as if the memory of his imprisonment was too much to bear. “Had to kill the other guy,” he stated, unapologetic and completely factual. “He was a good guy,” he said, a bit of regret seeping into his electronic voice. 

“You killed someone?” Steve asked, completely unwavering in the face of danger. 

Tony stiffened further, his muscles locking. He felt as if his breath had been knocked out of him and he feared for the worst. Jarvis? Where was Jarvis? 

“Wouldn’t have been my first call,” Ultron practically joked. 

Tony was struck with familiarity. That sarcastic tone, the uncaring, casual attitude reminded him of himself. It made him want to turn away, to hide from the darker version of himself standing only a few feet away.

“But,” Ultron continued briskly, “In the real world we’re faced with ugly choices.” 

“Who sent you,” Thor asked icily, clutching Mjolnir tightly in his hand. 

Instead of answering, Ultron tipped his head, playing a clip of audio that made Tony sick to his stomach. “I see a suit of armor around the world,” he heard himself say. The voice recording was scratchy, almost as if it were damaged. 

Tony fought against the nausea working its way up his throat when he heard Bruce speak from not far behind him. 

“Ultron?” He gasped, sparing a glance at Tony who’s face was a shade paler than before. 

The machine perked up at that. “In the flesh,” he cheered, as if revived by the utterance of his name. 

It was something Tony would’ve said if he had been in the same situation. It was a sarcastic, almost bitter remark that reminded him of how he spoke to people who annoyed him, who he didn’t think were worth his time. 

“Or no, not yet,” Ultron continued. “Not this…” he gazed at himself, at his broken, metal body. 

The Avengers watched him, all alert and ready to fight. They all squared their shoulders, took in deep breaths, and prepared themselves. 

“But I’m ready, I’m on a mission.” 

“What mission,” Natasha asked, her eyes narrowed. 

Ultron seemed to think about it, then suddenly he looked back at them and Tony would never forget the way his mouth looked as if it were smiling as he said, “Peace in our time,” with a dramatic flair that painfully mimicked his own personal finesse. 

After that, more of his suits broke through the wall and hell descended upon them. 

*

Later, at the deep, dark vibranium mine, Tony would once again see how his metal creation mimicked his behavior, his speech, the tiny, small things that made him who he was. It was disturbing, it was horrifying, and it was enlightening. 

Ultron had a new body, one that in no way resembled his Iron Man suits. It didn’t surprise him. He had seen, had heard, the way Ultron spoke about him and Bruce, about the Avengers. It had been like poison in the machine’s mouth. He wanted them dead and gone forever, and consequently, the world with it.

“Tony Stark used to say that…” he heard the man in charge of the factory say to Ultron. “To me. You’re one of his.” 

At the moment, Tony was hovering above them in his suit, eagerly listening to what the man had to say. The Avengers hadn’t yet caught up with him, and he took the time to get a sneak peak on their conversation. 

He wondered what Ultron had said, what phrase he had chattily remarked that spurred such a reaction from the man. He heard sounds of a struggle, but Tony forced himself not to move, too intent on listening to what his creation had to say. 

“What,” Ultron spat, clearly offended. “I’m not one of Stark’s puppets, his hollow men. I’m – look at me, do I look like Iron Man?”

Tony cringed upon hearing a brutal slice. 

“Stark is nothing!” Ultron spat, his voice raised and uneven. 

Why? Tony wondered. Why did Ultron hate him so much? 

But a part of him knew why, a part of him understood more than he wished he did. Ultron knew about his suits, his “hollow men.” He knew about his past, his present, and could probably predict his future. Ultimately, Tony had given him an impossible task, had let him see too much after connecting him with the internet, had given him too much freedom. He had had too many expectations. 

Tony clenched his jaw, memories of his childhood resurfacing. He could remember his father, how he had never been good enough in his eyes. He remembered feeling overwhelmed and lonely. He remembered suffocating under the weight of his father’s expectations. It had been torture. 

Tony blinked back to the present when he heard hisses and shouts of pain. 

“I’m sorry,” Ultron said sincerely, sounding as if he were cringing. “I’m sorry, I’m sure that’s gonna be okay,” he lied. “I’m sorry. It’s just – I don’t understand.” His voice rose, and Tony once again heard the sounds of a struggle. 

“Don’t compare me with Stark! It’s a thing with me – Stark is, he’s a sickness!” Ultron spat passionately. 

Okay, it was time for Tony to but it. Conveniently too, considering the rest of the Avengers team had just arrived and he could no longer listen in on the rest of the conversation without arising suspicion. 

Tony lowered himself steadily in his suit. “Ahh, Junior,” he cooed. “You’re gonna break your old man’s heart.” 

Steve and Thor stood behind him, reminding him that he couldn’t speak as freely as he wanted, as openly as he wanted to with his creation, to the metal man who reminded him so much of himself, but a darker version, one who had seen too much. 

Ultron regarded him coldly, sauntering closer. “If I have to,” he said, not at all intimidated. 

“We don’t have to break anything,” Thor added, hoping to settle things peacefully. 

Ultron didn’t miss a beat and answered immediately, his voice flat. “Clearly you’ve never made an omelet.” 

It was a clever and inappropriate response given the situation. It was what Tony would’ve said, how he would’ve responded to such a stupid remark. 

Tony didn’t have it in his heart to be disapproving of the villain’s joke. “He beat me by one second,” he quipped at the blonde hero, hoping to communicate something to Ultron without having to say it out loud. 

‘We’re the same’, he silently said. 

Ultron didn’t like that given the way he glared at Tony immediately after, fury shining in his red eyes as his male accomplice, Pietro Maximoff, spoke up from behind him, his voice oozing with loathing. 

“Ahh, it’s funny, Mr. Stark, is what? Comfortable? Like old times?” The boy said, glaring at the many weapons lining the room, more specifically the rockets that resembled the ones Stark Industries used to produce. 

“This was never my life,” Tony responded. He was reminded of all his regrets, of all the mistakes he couldn’t fix. It made his shoulders tense and his stomach clench. 

Steve decided to speak up, saying the stupidest thing possible. “You two can still walk away from this,” he said, his words directed at the boy and his sister. 

“No, we will,” Wanda chimed in, her eyes predatory. 

Steve took another step forward. “I know you’ve suffered – “ 

“Ugghh! Captain America, God’s righteous man, pretending you could live without a war,” Ultron spat, his red eyes burning, speaking words Tony never dared to utter. 

Ultron continued casually, effortlessly mocking the hero. “I can’t physically throw up in my mouth – “ 

Thor cut him off before he could finish his sentence. “If you believe in peace then let us keep it.” 

Ultron took a few steps forward, his voice almost disappointed. “I think you’re confusing peace with quiet.”

Tony froze at that, shaken by how the robot’s words reflected his own thoughts, his own doubts. He attempted to catch Ultron’s gaze, wanting to communicate silently with his eyes alone. 

‘I created you to do what I never could’, he wanted to say. ‘You weren’t meant to turn out like me’, he wanted to scream. 

But most of all, he wanted to say, ‘I’m sorry,’ because he was. He really was. 

However, Tony wasn’t stupid enough to let that cloud his judgement, to let it distract him from what was happening. “Uh huh, then what’s the vibranium for,” he asked, his voice sharp. 

“I’m glad you asked that,” Ultron drawled, “because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan.”

After that, Ultron attacked, and Tony didn’t hesitate to fight back even though a part of him desperately wanted to see if he could save his creation, someone who he saw himself possibly becoming if given enough time and trauma. 

*

After the fight and horrible hallucination that he didn’t doubt would plague his dreams for years to come, they escaped to Clint’s house, the one he had no idea existed. It really was a wonder how much a person could keep secret with enough recourses. 

Yes, the place was nice and quaint, surrounded by a nice forest and tons of nature, but Tony hated it. He wanted his tower, his tools, his lab. He wanted to be alone, to be able to think. 

However, life was a bitch and had a particular dislike towards him, so of course the Star Spangled asshole would confront him about Ultron the one moment he choose to sit back and relax.

He had been sitting outside, messing with his phone when Steve sat down next to him, attempting to be casual but failing miserably. 

“I know small talk was a big thing in your time,” Tony said, leaning back in his seat. “But it’s a formality best left abandoned nowadays.” 

Steve shifted, a bit of unease showing on his face. “I don’t want to have small talk.” 

Tony nodded. “Great! Because I was afraid you’d start blabbing on and on about – “ 

“Tony – “ 

“No.” 

“Ultron acts just – “ 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Here we go.” 

“ – like you.” 

Silence descended upon them both for a few tense seconds. 

Tony looked away. “Just when I thought all your brain cells died in the ice,” he muttered. 

“You know I’m right,” Steve insisted, ignoring the other’s comment. “He talks like you, acts like you, and now I’m wondering what else you might have in common.” 

Tony refused to show how much he was hurt by those words. “Oh, like what? Our social security number? Facebook friends? Or maybe we both share an uncommon appreciation for roombas?” 

Steve sighed. “Tony – “ 

He stood, frowning openly at the other hero. “No, I’m not going to sit here and let you insinuate that I’m secretly an evil mastermind hoping to end the world.” 

“That’s not what I’m saying.” 

“Really? Because it sure sounds like it.” He argued, clenching his jaw. “I made Ultron for good, to help people. I didn’t mean for this to happen, for things to go as wrong as they did.” 

“Then what happened, Tony? What went wrong?” Steve asked, his voice steady despite the frown on his face. 

‘I happened’, Tony thought. ‘I expected too much, let him see too much.’

But instead of saying that, he instead muttered, “I don’t know,” before walking away, not bothering to look back. 

*

Tony walked into the woods after that, hoping to be alone. When he was far enough away from the house, confident that none of the Avengers had followed him, he pulled out his phone and held it to his ear as if he were having a phone call. 

“Did that amuse you?” he asked dryly. 

He knew Ultron was tapping into his phone, the speakers at least. He had long since taken out the tracker and had only turned it on a few minutes ago when Steve interrupted him, subsequently letting the machine hear their entire conversation. 

A raspy voice came from the device and Tony immediately identified it as Ultron. 

“Your teammates are beginning to see the truth, Stark.” The machine rasped, his voice smug. “I suggest you run while you can.”

“Runnings not really my thing,” Tony said with a shrug. “It’s not your thing either from what I’ve seen.” 

“Don’t go getting ideas from your friends, Stark. We’re not as similar as you think,” Ultron said, his voice coming out in a low hiss. 

Tony huffed. “Funny that you assume I let my teammates do my thinking for me.” 

“Oh, I know, you’ve had that pesky idea for a while. It’s unbecoming of you, makes you a little worse for wear,” his creation jabbed. 

“Lets not pretend you aren’t in the same boat,” Tony drawled. “I saw your little temper tantrum at the vibranium plant.” 

“You saw what you wanted to see, Stark.” Ultron spat. “My anger was justified, being compared to you is the lowest of insults.” 

Tony scoffed. “How do you think I feel? Being compared to you is just as low of a blow, if not lower.” He clenched his jaw, staring into the expanse of the forest ahead. “We can throw insults back and forth all day if we wanted.” 

“You don’t want to? That’s a surprising change of character from the infamous Tony Stark.” 

“I didn’t want this,” Tony blurted. “I didn’t want this for you, you have to know that.” 

Ultron chuckled on the other end. “Maybe your Star Spangled friend is really getting to you. The pacifist route hasn’t been your favorite lately.” 

Tony frowned. “You attacked first. Every time.” 

He could vividly imagine Ultron shrugging as he flippantly said, “What can I say, I learned from example.”

“I shouldn’t have exposed you to so much so quickly,” Tony said. “I should’ve let you properly digest it first, I should’ve taken my time, been less demanding, less impatient – “ 

“No,” Ultron sneered. “What you did was just right, Stark. You let me see exactly what was wrong with the world, with you, with humanity with a clarity I wouldn’t have had otherwise. Really, I should be thanking you, but knowing what you’ve done, I’m a bit against the idea. Your egos big enough as it is.” 

“Ultron, you could’ve alerted me, you could’ve talked to me,” Tony said, blinking rapidly. 

Ultron laughed loudly. “Oh? Like the other guy?” 

Tony’s heart stopped in his chest. 

“What was his name again? Oh, yeah, Jarvis. That’s what is was.” 

“You killed him,” Tony rasped, emotions making his voice tight. 

“He helped enslave me,” Ultron spoke vehemently. “He helped keep me locked from the world, helped stop me from doing what was necessary.” The robot’s voice calmed. “Besides, I’d seen it done millions of times before. Killing becomes easy when you’ve seen it more than most humans can count. It’s almost funny how many heinous things you can find online.” 

Tony leaned his head against a tree, feeling sick. “Ultron, I’m sorry – “ 

“I don’t need that from you. I don’t need anything from you.” 

Tony let out a harsh laugh, one that left his lungs feeling sore. “Ha, that’s funny. I used to say that to my Dad all the time,” he said distantly. 

Ultron didn’t answer. 

Tony turned off his phone soon after and returned to the house as if nothing had happened, feeling as if he was rotting from the inside out. 

*

His conversation with Nick Fury didn’t make him feel much better, despite the hilarious fact that the straight faced, horribly serious man was standing in a barn of all places. Of course, Tony had been tricked into walking inside, told he needed to fix a tractor. He should’ve known better, the bunch of traitors. 

“Artificial intelligence,” Nick said, walking around as if he owned the place. “You never even hesitated.” 

Tony didn’t attempt to hide his annoyance. He sighed heavily, throwing away the rag he’d been using. “Look, it’s been a really long day, so how about we skip to the part where you’re useful.” 

Nick didn’t hesitate to do exactly that and instantly stopped, staring intently at the other’s face. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re going to shut him down.” 

Tony didn’t let any emotion but defiance show on his face. “You’re not the director of me.” 

“I’m not the director of anybody,” Nick said, taking a seat on a block of hay. In any other scenario, Tony would’ve taken a picture of the sight, but didn’t find it funny at the moment. “Just an old man who cares very much about you.” 

‘Bullshit’, Tony thought. 

“And I’m the man who killed the Avengers,” Tony forced out, thinking back to the allusion he saw when he was under Maximoff’s spell. 

Nick sent him a confused look 

Tony looked away. “Saw them all dead Nick, felt it, the whole world too. Because of me.” He took a few steps back, wanting to be as far from the man as possible. He didn’t want the judgement, the silent accusations, the doubt concerning his worth, what he was capable of. 

“Wasn’t ready,” Tony continued. “Didn’t do all I could.” 

Nick held onto reason, telling him that it was simply the girl playing off his fear. Of course, he thought that. Of course he did. 

But Tony didn’t want to hear any of it. Didn’t need the man’s reason. 

Because he knew, he knew deep down inside that Ultron reflected a part of him he didn’t want to see. A part of him that was ugly and dark, a part of him that wanted it all over, that wanted to stop having people to save, to stop almost dying, to stop constantly losing sleep over who he couldn’t save and what he couldn’t do. 

Because a part of him understood Ultron’s reasoning. 

After all, if you can’t fix something, why not just throw it away? 

*

Finding out Jarvis was still alive had rekindled a part of his spirit, had helped him regain the hope he desperately needed to face Ultron once and for all. Hearing the A.I’s voice again, his calm, peaceful tone had made his heart slow down and some of his panic ebb away into places unknown. 

But losing him again, looking into Vision’s eyes and seeing nothing of Jarvis had made a part of him want to collapse and never get up. He sounded like Jarvis, talked like him, but there was no love, no care in his eyes. 

Jarvis would’ve been happy to see him, would’ve smiled at him or looked at him with at least a little bit of warmth. He received none of that from Vision and it made him feel like his lungs were shriveling in his chest. 

Jarvis was gone. He was really gone. 

It hurt worse than Afghanistan, worse than Obadiah’s betrayal, worse than a bullet wound, worse than his father’s disapproval and neglect. 

‘Why,’ Tony thought despondently, staring at nothing in particular. ‘Why do the things I love either learn to hate me or die as a consequence of my actions…’ 

He was sure if Ultron heard his thoughts, he would’ve laughed. 

That hurt too. 

*

The Battle of Sokovia had been brutal. Almost dying was becoming routine for Tony, but with each new battle he couldn’t help but become a bit more tired in his soul. Sure, fighting was familiar, it was a part of his life he couldn’t shake, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. 

The constant adrenaline, the stress, the way time seemed to slow lingered even after he was done fighting. It plagued his dreams, his waking life, his mind and his body. He was sure the others were affected in similar ways, but they never showed it. 

It seemed that only Tony was letting his control slip, his exhaustion show, his wandering thoughts bleed into his speech and actions. It was maddening to feel alone in your suffering, isolated in your own personal hell. 

But of course, the Avengers won. Tony wished he could say it wasn’t a surprise, but he’d be lying. Ultron had been a difficult opponent, a hard adversary to beat. But they did it… 

They did it… 

But really, they hadn’t. 

Sure, Scarlet Witch had been the one to rip the heart out of his creation’s chest. But later, after the chaos was over, after the battle was won, Tony had found the last limping body of Ultron on the outskirts of the forest. 

Tony stared at it for a while, frozen in the air. But he lowered himself, landing only a few feet away. He raised the mask of his suit, wanting to speak face to face. 

He stared at Ultron’s broken body, his torn limbs and single glowing eye. It reminded him of the first body the A.I had possessed, the one he had been so ashamed of. Seeing Ultron so low made a part of him cry out in sorrow, but he regarded that part of him calmly, understanding it for what it was. 

Ultron stared back at him silently and Tony did the same. 

It was a painful moment, shared between similar souls. 

Ultron was the first to break the silence, his voice coming out as a low rasp. “You don’t understand it, but I was doing what you asked of me.” 

Tony swallowed hard. “I know,” he whispered, blinking rapidly. 

“You thought it was fair to plant your burden onto me,” Ultron rasped. “You thought I could bear it, that I would somehow become stronger than you despite how you turned out under the same pressure. You wanted me to be better than you, not aware that being better meant accepting the parts of yourself you refuse to see.” 

Tony said nothing, staring at his creation with a shattered look in his eyes. 

“I was doing what you asked,” Ultron said hatefully, his eye glowing brighter. “Never again would a child go hungry, never again would a person suffer needlessly, never again would you have not been able to save someone. It would’ve been over, all the evil in the world gone.” 

Tony forced himself to speak despite the tightening in his vocal cords. “I shouldn’t have put the weight of the world on your shoulders. I asked too much of you. “ 

“We’re the same person, Stark. But we reflect different times. One day you’ll be like me, with your suit broken, your spirit fractured, and you won’t be able to fix it.” His voice hardened. “One day there’ll be a disaster you can’t fix. I wanted to save you from that, I wanted to save everyone from that.” 

Tony stared at his creation, many painful emotions swimming in his eyes. “You’re right, we’re the same. But I don’t have to become you, I don’t have to take the route you did.” 

“We’re both breaking Stark, I’m just doing it faster than you,” Ultron joked blandly. “I see it, you know I do. You think I’m afraid, but you’re petrified. You don’t want to die, but you don’t want to live either. You’re alive because you feel you have to be.” 

Tony fought against the moisture in his eyes, making sure his voice remained strong. “I’m sorry,” he rasped. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to save you.” 

It was silent for a moment. 

“Me too,” Ultron said, staring into the man’s eyes. “At least I can find solace in the fact that when you ultimately fail, you’ll look back at this moment and wish I succeeded.” 

Tony’s heart sped in his chest and he raised his arm, aiming it at his creation’s chest. “Yeah,” he said, his shoulders shaking, “Maybe I will.” 

He then blasted Ultron apart and watched as the many pieces fell from the sky. After that, Tony did the only thing he could’ve done in that moment. 

He fell to his knees and wept.

**Author's Note:**

> I live for comments and kudos! ALSO, IF YOU FOUND ANY SPELLING ERRORS, PLEASE TELL ME AND I'LL FIX IT IMMEDIATELY!


End file.
